3C rule, majestic umbrella masked Oval decks semi-final Toulouse Stadium-UBB

Racing 92-La Rochelle or Stade Toulousain-UBB? Masked Oval didn't hesitate for a second: he wanted to see what Christophe Urios could say to Ugo Mola...

Last week, I offered you a report of the Basque derby. Today, place for another rivalry, which will perhaps also become legendary in the years to come: that between Stade Toulousain and Union Bordeaux-Bègles. The Garonne derby. The champion of France 2019 against the almost-champion-of-France-2020-we-will-never-but-when-even-as soon-we-have-the-opportunity-to-bring-it-back - do not deprive.

Well, maybe the term “rivalry” is a bit of an overstatement at this point. Because to have a rivalry, you need a shared hatred. And if Coyote fiercely hates Bip Bip, the converse does not necessarily seem to be true: the rascal cuculidae does not seem to care and is fed up simply by seeing his hunter fail miserably. Well, the UBB and Toulouse are a bit the same: the former try in each match to develop ingenious strategies to finally succeed in trapping their prey, and the latter always come out of it with a nonchalance that borders on the arrogance.

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In the cartoon, everyone already knows the ending before the episode begins. In Top 14, we know that anything can happen, including a title from Castres Olympique, something perhaps even stranger to understand than the laws of physics in the universe of Looney Toons. Moreover, the last time the CO won the Shield, Christophe Urios was on the bench. And he had eliminated Toulouse in the play-offs. To Ernest-Wallon, too! What if he did it again? What if this time was the right one for UBB?

Actually I don't know why I'm trying to make you believe in some kind of suspense since you already know the result of the match. It is perhaps by dint of listening to Eric Bayle and his BEP sales force, a man so talented that he sometimes manages to make us believe that we may see more tries than injuries in a match of final stages of Top 14. Come on, let's go to the report!

All the GIFS in this article are of course dedicated to Philousport, a pioneer and master in the field. Good for benevolence, on the other hand, I admit, I skipped all the classes.

The movie of the match

He said it several times during his weekly press conferences/stand-up numbers. After 3 consecutive defeats against Stade Toulousain, Christophe Urios looked for "the key" to triumph over the Rouge et Noir. Well at the start of the match, the UBB players are a bit like you when you come home drunk at 2 a.m. and take 5 minutes to look for your keychain in your bag. At the kickoff, Bordeaux full-back Romain Buros tried to raise but got a big stop, just to set the tone.

The Rouge et Noir's first play, fluid and well executed, allows Ramos to infiltrate the 22 meters. Taken aback by this start, the UBB makes a mistake. Instead of taking the three points, or even going into penalty, the European champions want to mark the occasion and continue to impose their rhythm by playing by hand. A little overconfidence punished by a good scratching from the fans of Alain Juppé.

Barely enough time to breathe a little sigh of relief, and the Toulousans get a new test opportunity. Well no, not even. They score a try, without even having had a chance, which is ultimately the hallmark of this team which ends up annoying us as everything always succeeds. Dupont tries a clearance in his 22m but is countered by Lamerat. The ball magically falls back into the arms of Tolofua, who, thanks to the absurdity of the rules of rugby, is not in an offside position. Ntamack, who has already seen everything and understood everything, rises to his height and rushes in the interval. We won't see him again until the end. Because despite his soft growing-up body language and his spliff-smoking eyes, Romain is capable of burning one of the best backs in the Top 14 on the run. All this while keeping his hair perfectly in place, of course.

No really, these people from Toulouse are really starting to get annoying. Ramos misses the transformation, but a few seconds later, he adds three points after a big domination of his closed scrum. 8-0 after 10 minutes, we say to ourselves that there is not going to be a match, and that Urios has not found the method to defeat the Stadium any more than the one to have the best summer body.

Fortunately, the match will quickly rebalance itself thanks to a great offensive from the people who spend their weekend in boat shoes in Arcachon. Lam serves Seuteni, who dips inside and hooks Santiago Chocobares. In this period of Euro, the Argentinian offers us a beautiful tribute to Mats Hummels with a superb tackle slipped against his camp which mows down Cheslin Kolbe.

The door opens for Seuteni, who also escapes the tackle from Elstadt and Arnold, then serves Petti with a nice pass in the back. Pampa's Hannibal Lecter is stopped just in front of the posts, but after a few phases of play, the ball comes back into the hands of Ben Lam, who can go score by taking advantage of a suicidal spike from Kolbe that would not have denied Damian Penaud. 8-7, the match is restarted!

The game continues at a high pace. Ntamack still takes the interval, but is stopped by a spoon from Lamerat. In his fall, the Toulousain hurt his shoulder, which will mark the beginning of a great evening in the shoes of a crash test dummy. The Girondins have definitely returned to their match and are putting pressure on Toulouse. The tackles are fierce, we feel that Urios has recycled Castres' game plan based on the three Cs: combat, chaos and carnage. This obviously comes with a bit of indiscipline, like Higginbotham committing a silly delayed tackle on Dupont. Idiot because even if it means offering three points to the opponent, you might as well stumble on the way. But no, the solid scrum-half is barely shaken. 11-7.

I learned how to write a ballad, a limerick, and a cinquain poem in our Literary Genres packet. - Emily and Tyler

— Sue Lutz Wed Jan 02 22:09:25 +0000 2013

A few minutes later, the Australian intellectual does it again with a shoulder clearing on Chocobares, accompanied by a facial crush worthy of WWE's greatest matches. And there we wonder: why does this man play rugby, when he could have a job that allows him to abuse people with impunity, as a professional boxer or a policeman? Despite careful examination of this action on video, against all odds, Mr Trainini only whistles a penalty against the Wallaby. Ramos converts it, 14-7.

Jalibert has the opportunity to reduce the score just before the break on a penalty from more than 50 meters, but it goes just wide of the posts. So we go back to the locker room with a converted try in favor of the Toulouse, who however did not do much and especially benefited from the 8 penalties whistled against the Bordelais. Would we be faced with a typical case of a team committing suicide because it confuses a rugby pitch with a battlefield?

At the start, however, we feel that things are going a little better on the side of the canelé eaters. The change in their first line allows them to regain the advantage in melee, and on a new long attempt, Jalibert finds the target this time, 14-10. This same Jalivert steals a ball from the hands of Ramos and offers a good attack ball to his team. Woki escapes on the wing but is stopped by another suicidal tackle from Ntamack a few meters from the line. The action takes its course, and after several playing times, the Toulouse defense ends up cracking a second time. Buros resists the tackle from Ramos and succeeds in aufelode for Ben Lam who will slam his double. Jalibert does not convert, but for the first time, UBB takes the lead, 14-15.

On the following dismissal, Ntamack sends the ball directly into touch. For the first time in a long time, the people of Toulouse seem human, takeable. We feel them blunted by this season at 252 games. The fact that there are more people in the infirmary than in the stands of the stadium is also worrying: the bench of substitutes does not look as good as usual. Neti, Ainu'u, Miquel and Youyoutte enter the field and we can guess on the face of Ugo Mola that even he does not know who these people are. There is a knockout in the air and on a new offensive, Pascal Obispo fans are still setting fire. But the expression “there is a knockout in the air” is really well indicated here since Romain Ntamack and Ulupano Seuteni collide violently. Unconscious, the Toulouse opening half ends up planting his head in the lawn like a majestic parasol.

If the gesture of the Bordeaux center does not seem intentional, it is dangerous, reckless and could have been avoided with more control. The slow motion is difficult to watch: we can clearly see that the lights go out completely on Ntamack's side, for a short time his brain becomes as inoperative as that of Sébastien Chabal when he has to produce an analysis on the set of the Canal Rugby Club. Mr Trainini takes his responsibilities and sanctions: logical red card, whatever the Jean-Michel will say "it's rugby, not dance". Of course, rugby is not dancing, since dancing is a real sport that requires training and having a healthy lifestyle.

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After a red card, there are generally two scenarios: transcended by a feeling of injustice that they consider legitimate, the team of 14 achieves the feat. Or else it holds on, holds on, then finally cracks. If Ramos restores the advantage to his team on the penalty which follows the disputed action, the Red and Blacks remain sluggish. On the dismissal, they commit a forward and on the scrum that follows, we see that the pack of garnets has definitely taken over. The first Toulouse line is penalized, and Jalibert passes three points, 17-18. We then say to ourselves that even in numerical superiority, the Toulousains are really not in it, and that we will finally be entitled to a little freshness with a Bordeaux – La Rochelle final, a real #PetitMouchoirico and a Stade de France filled with people wearing marinières tied around their shoulders.

But you should never bury the people of Toulouse too quickly. Like Manuel Valls on a television set, they always find a way to come back, even when no one wants to see them anymore. Cazeaux commits a fault in the ground game, and Ramos finds the penalty – despite Ben Lam's save attempt which almost succeeded in the bluff of the century.

After a little refereeing imbroglio, the throw-in is well played. The carried ball is stopped, but the Toulouse pounding begins. We end up playing wide, and Matthis Lebel is thrown into touch. Re-touch, for the UBB this time. But pushback into touch, and new ammunition for the Stadium. The forwards are still trying their luck flush. Passed in n ° 10 since the exit of Ntamack, Ramos inherits the ball and decides to go alone. And it works ! As a symbol of this ugly but indestructible Stade Toulousain, it is the guy who played an absolutely disgusting match who comes to plant the murderous try. 24-18.

The Beglelo-Bordais have not yet said their last word. Urios also brings in new blood, like Thomas Jolmes and Louis Picamoles, players he must love because they seem straight out of the 70s. But it is above all Pablo Uberti who shines, with a big breakthrough in the center of the field. The player with the name of Italian variety singer is taken back, but the Red and Black are at fault. With 5 minutes to play, Christophe Urios' men make the strange choice to attempt the penalty. It is nevertheless successful by Jalibert, 24-22.

A strange choice, then. Really strange even since under the dismissal, the Bordelais immediately return the ball to the foot. The only hope is probably that Antoine Dupont does anything, as is often the case around the 79^th minute. But no. The update has been made, the bug has been fixed. The Rouge et Noir chained the pick and go, ran the clock and Ramos ended up clearing to send his team to the Stade de France.

Maybe that's the mark of great teams: even when they're lousy, even when they touch the ball twice a game, they manage to find a way to win. So of course it's annoying. It annoys Christophe Urios, for whom beating Ugo Mola almost seems to have more value than a Shield. It also annoys some supporters and other expert observers in arbitration, some of whom do not hesitate to turn into conspiracy, but after all it is in the era of time. Is it very useful to give an additional sounding board to all the big dorks on Earth? Probably not.

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I wouldn't add any more and I am therefore delighted to be able to attend #TurboBoularico2. A logical final between the two best teams of the Top 14 season, and even the two best teams in Europe. Will the Toulousains still find a way to get by, despite a team in kit form which will be deprived of its Grandisse? Will the Rochelais finally win this first deserved title? Answer Friday evening for the conclusion of a season that will have been as long as my reports!

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